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Maybe

Maybe if I didn't agree to meet you that day
Maybe if I didn't listen to you
Maybe if you didn't try hard to convice me
Maybe if you didn't ask me to wait for you
Maybe if I didn't try to believe your promises (or lies?)

I won't be this broken
I won't be this fucked up
I won't ended up crying every damn night
I won't reached my six degrees of separation

And it hurts more that you never told me why
I guess I wasn't worth it, right?

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I always been an average girl. Oh let me clear it up, I thought it's below than average? I'm not beautiful. I've got pimples all over my face. I'm not skinny. I've got many fat around the bodies. I'm not easy-going. I don't like interact with many people. I'm not smart. But I'm not that dumb lol. fuck off.
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To be honest, aku sama sekali ngga nyangka masalah kemaren bakal besar banget impactnya ke aku. You should have known I spent a whole week crying. Aku yang batu dan engga crybaby gini, ga bisa berhenti nangisin kamu. Masih kok sekarang, kadang kalo keinget random bisa nangis sendiri. I even cried when attending my friend's thesis presentation. Di pojok belakang, aku nangis. I saw your tweets. Kamu tau, selepas aku baca itu, aku nangis di rumah. Semaleman aku nangis, padahal besoknya aku harus berangkat ke luar kota. Tiket PP udah pesen, hotel udah book, udah bikin list mau ngapain aja di sana, but in the end, H-2 jam, I've decided not to leave. Spent the nights crying, my body's aching, my eyes got swollen, my mind is insane, how could I leave? Bangun dari kasur aja gabisa. I disappointed my friends there. I disappointed my self too. It has been almost two months I stopped throwing up my self. Tp udah sejak 2 minggu kemaren, I'm doing that disgusting thing ag...
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