this is (not) random thoughts

Im heree

Hey. I know I alr said this a million times, but I swear this is the last. This is my last farewell. I hate you, but I hate myself even more. Pls, dont ever see me again. I really begging you.

i'm getting better y'all!! although if it's just a little. i really want to cut our ties, i really do. but i'm such a coward, i can't. even if she's asking me to getting back together, i doubt i will say no. fool, right? haha. you could break my heart into tiny little pieces, and i'd still pick them up, and put them back in your hands.

I hope this is really the end cause I don't want to give a shit anymore~

i care so much, but you dont give a shit

Yang bikin ngga habis pikir, kamu tau aku lagi ada di titik terendah. Dan kamu ninggalin aku gitu aja. Dingin. Sumpah, bener-bener masih ga mau percaya. After all this time, huh? Setelah semua yang aku lakuin buat kamu? Bahkan untuk memohon pun aku ga sanggup. Aku yang bodoh. Terlalu menganggap kamu sempurna. Kamu yang paling baik. Ga pernah salah. Selalu benar. Bahkan sampai aku nulis ini, aku masih gabisa sepenuhnya nyalahin kamu. Because part of me still want to believes you. And I don't wanna stop. Pesanku, please, don't ever try to treat someone else the way you treated me. Let me the first and the last one who knows how's it feels. I beg, please. And, I won't force you to feel guilty because what's the point? Bcs even if you're apologizing, I won't forgive.